Those of us that were with our husbands or wives BEFORE they went to prison are different in many many ways from the women and men that met their husbands and wives through a pen pal service and the 'met while incarcerated' couples. There are men who are waiting on wives or girlfriends just as there are women who are waiting on husbands or boyfriends. But for the sake of making it easier to type out i will just use the phrases Husbands and Boyfriends from here on out in this post.
We were in our relationships before our men went in,we were at home living our lives with our men.We knew what he was like before he had that first cup of coffee.Whether he's a morning person or not,we know what he liked to eat,what he didn't like to eat. We know if he's into morning sex or not and what makes our men so sexually needful of us that he will drop everything to get deep inside of us.
We know how he acts when something is bothering him, we know when to back off and let him sort it out.We know when and how to get him to talk about what's bothering him.We know our men like the backs of our own hands. We know this because we were with them out here. We know the anger of going to bond our men out whether it's the first time or tenth time.
We know the fear of loosing our men to the system again or maybe it's for the first time. We know the fear of him not being there at home with us and the fear of whether we can make it financially with out him.
We know what it feels like to sit in court and hope that the trial can be put off a little longer and that the court will continue his bond so we can have him a little longer if only a few more weeks.
We know what it feels like to be in his arms to smell his cologne and to feel his whiskers or beard or smooth shaven face.
We know how it feels to wonder how the kids will react to his being gone, we know the way it feels to wonder will they even remember him when he gets out, we see the fear that he has over that same thought.
We saw our men struggle with the fear of loosing us when they go to prison.We struggle with the fear that by the time he gets out will our relationship be the same. Will the love and need for each other be the same,will prison change things so much that it ultimatley changes us right down our very souls even.
There are so many things that are different about a relationship that was built and tested over time by REAL FUCKING LIFE. A relationship we REAL Prison Wives have and some half assed prison pen pal / meet while incarcerated 'coupling'. Get the fuck real all of you pen pals and mwi's.
You don't have anything near to what we have had and what we are going through with our men or women locked up. You have some silly half baked notion of how you want things to be..
not a damned thing that is REAL!.
You can write all the letters and visit all you want but you will not ever be in the same situation as a woman or a man that had a real relationship with their inmate before the person went to prison.
So for anyone to think that the prison pen pals and mwi's are in the same 'boat' as a woman or man that has a real relationship with thier inmate before prison is just utter bullshit!
There are so many other instances of how our relationships are different and how much we hurt and miss our men. The people that think a thread or forum was not / is not needed are the very people that would not and could not ever undertstand the need. Those people are the bitches in a mwi and prison pen pal relationship.
There is so much to a relationship,HOW could anyone ever think that being in a pen pal romance or a met while incarceratated romance is the same?. I have to believe that anyone that would think that is 1. a person who has never been in ANY sort of relationship in the real world.2. someone who is just mentally ill. 3. someone that wants so bad to believe her relationship is valid.
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